Memorial Day...my Grandma called it Decoration Day. Most of my most cherished and valued memories of this day are tied up with memories of my Grandma. I used to go with my grandparents each year as they went and decorated the graves of the loved ones and ancestors in our family...and there were a lot of graves to visit. We visited multiple cemeteries.
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Today we are canning cherries. It's actually my first time canning cherries, though I remember eating my mother's canned cherries as a child. The sweet taste of cherry bursting in my mouth on a cold winter's day... the beautiful color of the ripe red cherries in the jar. A feast for the eyes as well as the taste buds. After all these years, those cherries which long ago nourished my body, now nourish my soul as I remember...
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I’ve posted the handout for my teleseminar here in case you have trouble downloading it.
“Principles for Happy Home Educating Families”
My vision for this seminar is that it would reach new and veteran homeschoolers who feel overwhelmed, stressed, and/or a little unsure. I would hope that each person who tunes in would leave with the feeling that home education is not nearly so hard as we often make it for ourselves. I would hope for them to leave feeling a renewed sense of trust in themselves and in their abilities to provide a fantastic education for their children. I would hope for them to leave feeling hopeful and joyful about their choice to homeschool and committed to enjoy it even more.
Sometime ago my friend Christy (also a veteran homeschooling mom) and I were visiting about homeschooling and she wondered what a “7 Habits of Highly Effective Homeschoolers” list would look like. This list would probably be different for each homeschooling family, but the idea really intrigued me and I was able to quickly jot down the main ideas that I would put on my list; the things that I, as a veteran homeschooling mom, would share as the important habits homeschooling families. Or perhaps just as accurately…the things I wish that I could go back and tell the me who was just beginning home education all those years ago (15 to be exact).
I turned the title (imitating The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) around a bit because I would want to de-emphasize the “effective” part and emphasize happiness instead. While we do want to be effective homeschoolers, I don’t believe that this is really our ultimate goal. Keep asking yourself the question “why?” and you will sooner or later come to the bottom of it all. I think that our ultimate goal for our children and ourselves is happiness…as in “Men are that they might have joy.” We want our children to be successful…why?…so that they will be happy. I would submit that happiness is the end goal of what we do in our families. These items on my list are really principles more than they are habits. Application of these principles will help us to find joy and happiness in our homes and in our homeschooling.
Principles have many different applications and will be applied in different ways depending on the circumstance, family, or need. So, rather than being method based (I could never tell another parent how to homeschool), my list is a principle based list and I believe that every homeschooling family can apply these principles as they seek for happiness in their homeschooling. I believe that these principles…applied in the ways which work best for each family…will help homeschooling families to educate at home with peace, joy, and confidence. I’d love to share it with others.
Here is the list of principles…yes, I know, it’s more than 7…and probably growing.
Simplify
Balance
Trust
Lead Out
Enjoy
Love
Individualize
Principles first
Eye Single
If these ideas and principles “ring true” for you, then you might be interested in visiting my blog or facebook page sometime. I can be found at homeeducatedmom.wordpress.com. You can also “like” my facebook page either directly from my blog, or by looking for me under Home Educated Mom. I’d love to have you stop in for a visit sometime…and be sure to leave a comment or two. I love knowing that I’ve connected with someone out there.
I wish you the best in your home as you home educate your children. May you find all of the joy and happiness that is there for you in your own unique home education lifestyle!
I am in the process of posting blogs on each of these principles. You can find the first one here.
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Today I will be participating as a speaker at my first live teleconference with Home Education Council of America (HECOA). I will be speaking about the joys of home edcuation and principles to help ensure that your home education journey is a joyful one. Come join us today at 2pm pacific time. You will need to register with HECOA (free) and then sign up for the classes you are interested in. You will receive a link and phone in information, so that you can choose which way to participate. There are a number of seminars available, so check them out.
The broadcast may also be available for a limited time as a replay, so if you can’t make it for the seminar, you may be able to listen to the replay. If it is available for replay, you will find it under the “live seminars” tab on the upper right side of the HECOA page.
Looking forward to it.
-Roxane
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Remembering 9/11. I’ve been pondering on this for most of the day. What are we to remember? And why? To what end? We each have our own personal memories of that fateful day. We can all remember where we were when we heard the news. We can all remember what we were doing. Most importantly, we all remember vividly how it made us feel…what our emotions and reactions were. And we all remember that things just didn’t seem to be the same for quite some time afterwards.
I remember how a nation…my nation, the land of my birth…turned to God and to prayer. I remember particularly the tolling of the bell on Temple Square a few days later when the president of our nation declared a National Day of Prayer and the leaders of my church presented devotional addresses and song in the historic tabernacle on Temple Square. I watched by television from my home far from Temple Square. The tolling of that bell brought a curious peace into my heart. I cannot tell why. I watched the video that was made of that devotional again today with my family. The tolling of that bell had the same peaceful effect upon me. I still cannot tell why. I do know that at that time, that devotional brought peace into my soul again. It grounded me and made me remember…there’s that word again…it helped me to remember the things that are most timeless and important in my life. My family, my God and religion, the sacrifice of our Savior Jesus Christ. I suppose that the things I was remembering were not at all unlike those that Captain Moroni hoped to get his people to remember at a particularly troubling time in his own nation’s history (see Alma 46:12). Remembering these things brought me great peace.
What else do I remember? I remember the sacrifice of those heroes of that particular day; their disregard for their own lives as they sought to help the injured and dying. Their sacrifice is…as all such sacrifices are…a mirror of the great sacrifice of our Savior Jesus Christ. He who died that we all might live again…that we all might be reunited with our loved ones. Yes, I remember the heroes of that day…such sacrifice requires great reverence on our parts…we who remember.
I also remember the freedom and liberty of our country…and I remember others…other great men and women…our founding fathers and mothers who in like manner sacrificed so much that we might enjoy the freedom and prosperity which we daily enjoy. They were not concerned only with their own comforts and needs…no, they had much greater views and were willing to sacrifice their own comforts and needs…even their very lives…for those greater views…for us, their children. They have bequeathed to us a great legacy of liberty. Do we appreciate it? Do we protect and perpetuate it? What will be our legacy to our children and grandchildren?
Having studied the Old Testament, I remember the children of Israel. Their’s was a long history of remembering and forgetting. We are so much like them. It reminds me of another scripture from modern day revelation, “In the day of their peace they esteemed lightly my counsel; but, in the day of their trouble, of necessity they feel after me.” ( D&C 101: 8 ) Yes…we do that too…just like the children of Israel did anciently. We too have been promised over and over again in scripture that if we will turn to the Lord, we will prosper in the Land…but we so often forget.
The Father of our country counseled us in his farewell address,
“Of all the dispositions and habits which lead to political prosperity, religion and morality are indispensable supports. In vain would that man claim the tribute of patriotism, who should labor to subvert these great pillars of human happiness, these firmest props of the duties of men and citizens. The mere politician, equally with the pious man, ought to respect and to cherish them. A volume could not trace all their connections with private and public felicity. Let it simply be asked: Where is the security for property, for reputation, for life, if the sense of religious obligation desert the oaths which are the instruments of investigation in courts of justice ? And let us with caution indulge the supposition that morality can be maintained without religion. Whatever may be conceded to the influence of refined education on minds of peculiar structure, reason and experience both forbid us to expect that national morality can prevail in exclusion of religious principle.” (see George Washington’s Farewell Address).
I’ve heard a number of people comment on their memories of that day…how a nation seemed to pull together to comfort each other…and how a nation…our nation…also turned unashamedly to God and to prayer.
That is what I want to remember. That is what I want our nation to remember and to not forget. Love of God and of fellowman. (see Luke 10:27) Two quotes illustrate this for me today. Both are from the book One Bright Shining Hope by Gordon B. Hinckley.
“Each of us can do a little better than we have been doing. We can be a little more kind. We can be a little more merciful. We can be a little more forgiving. We can put behind us our weaknesses of the past and go forth with new energy and increased resolution to improve the world about us, in our homes, in our places of employment, in our social activities.”
Isn’t this one of the things that we all remember of that day? Isn’t this one of the things we seem to have forgotten? Let us remember again. And let our remembering motivate us to proper action.
This same prophet of God in these latter days has said,
“None of us is wise enough to make it on our own. We need the help, the wisdom, the guidance of the Almighty in reaching those decisions that are so tremendously important in our lives. There is no substitute for prayer. There is no greater resource.” (President Gordon B. Hinckley from his book One Bright Shining Hope).
Prayer…no greater resource.
Yes, these are the things that I want to remember of that day…these are the things that I want to remind my children of…these are the things that I hope we will all remember.
RC
Posted in Just life, Looking Back, Uncategorized | Tagged 9/11, Freedom, George Washington's Farewell Address, Liberty, National Day of Prayer, Prayer, Remembering | Leave a Comment »
I have been reading a wonderful book lately called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. This beautiful little book has inspired me to begin keeping a gratitude journal. If you are like me, you have also been blessed with numerous gifts and blessings in your life which often pass you by because you aren’t really paying attention. I suspect that in our rush-rush world, we can all benefit a bit from slowing down and taking note of the wonders and blessings in our lives. I’ve become convinced that we don’t really receive a gift or blessing until we’ve named it. (Ann Voskamp’s thoughts about naming have sent me on a whole “thought journey” of my own which I am not yet finished with.)
We are told in scripture that if we receive the gifts we are given….that is if we recognize and show gratitude for them, we will receive more. And if we continue not to receive…that is we fail to recognize and appreciate our blessings, then even that which we have shall be taken away (Matt. 13:12…also see D&C 88:33). How sad is that? How many blessings are sent my way each and every day, but I receive no benefit from them simply because I do not have eyes to see…I’m blind to those blessings. Being blind to them, it is as if they were never given…even that which I technically have has been taken away, so to speak. And yet, as I learn to see more clearly and name the blessings I have…and find the joy and wonder in them, I receive more. More and more, I think that the “receiving more” part is simply a function of my being able to see. 
How like the 10 lepers who were made clean…and the one, returning to thank is made whole. Thus, he received an additional…and greater…blessing because of his gratitude…because he took time to name and to thank for the blessing he received. (Luke 17:12-19) I want to be like that.
Just at this time that I’m really starting to count my blessings, I have a friend who posted about appreciating our children. Check out her blog on Appreciating Our Kids Month. Another friend that I have met in the blogging world has also posted on this topic. Her blog is called “Do You Love Being a Mother? Let Your Words Show It!” I highly recommend these two thought provoking blogs.
Both of these posts, along with the book I’ve been reading, have gotten me to thinking. I love to think deeply and to ponder, but thinking is useless unless it leads us to some improving action, so I’m taking Leah’s challenge to write each day about the things that I love and appreciate about my children…and about being a mother. And what a perfect time to begin…as I’m beginning a new school year with my children and studying them and their interests, passions, and needs to determine the best way to approach this year together.
It has been said that anything that the Savior is allowed to place his hands upon…becomes whole. Can it be that like the leper who was made whole, my family might also have that blessing as I return and thank for the individual blessings that each child is in my life and for the sweet blessing of being their mother?
I’d love to share my list with you each day, but in the name of sanity…and for the sake of my children’s needs, I’ve committed to post on my blog only about twice a week. So, I’ll blog when I can, but be assured that I am keeping a daily journal and I will share some of it with you. Maybe you’d like to take the challenge too. What do you love and appreciate about your children? What wonders do you see when you look into their eyes? What do you love about being a mother (or father)?
My first entry into my journal…Hugs…next blog.
RC
Posted in Home Education, Just life, Parenting, Uncategorized | Tagged Appreciation, Children, Gratitude, gratitude journal, One Thousand Gifts, the 10 lepers | 2 Comments »
This is the fourth in a series of blogs on what I would define as “Principles of Happy Home Educating Families.”” Find the first blog here.
I remember the morning that I found that one of my daughters had taken a red pencil and scribbled all over the pages of my treasured set of scriptures. My children were ages 1 and 3 at the time, I’m still not sure which daughter was the culprit, but I highly suspect my oldest daughter. I was just about to come unglued and do some “disciplining” when I was stopped cold. As I was turning the pages to ascertain the extent of the damage, I noticed alongside her childish scrawls all of the carefully highlighted verses which I had marked. As my red highlighter fell from the pages…where I always kept it…I never read my scriptures without a highlighter close at hand, I had a thought…a realization…which totally changed me from red hot frustrated anger to…well, a sense of wonder and appreciation. She had only been doing what she had seen me do almost every day! How could I ever discipline her for that? Suddenly I realized that I had been setting an example and that she was doing just what I hoped she would do (albeit at an older age). Today those childish scribblings, rather than making me angry, have become something that I smile affectionately at each time that I see them. They also remind me of a very important principle of teaching.
From the day children are born, they are great imitators. We seem to be hard-wired as children to imitate what we see, it seems to be the primary mode of learning. Watch a newborn child and his or her parents. Mother smiles, baby smiles. Daddy sticks out his tongue…baby follows by sticking out his tongue. Children are so adept at imitating their parents that you can often match up a child and his/her parent just by watching their mannerisms, their ways of speaking.
It begs the question, if children learn so much by watching…and following us, then why do we so often try to teach using a “do as I say not as I do approach”? Think about it. What happens with most children about the time they turn 5 or 6 (and younger) in our culture. Most parents send them away at this point and when they get home, they tell them to go and do their homework. It’s not always much better in many homeschool settings. Following the public school paradigm, many parents purchase a curriculum and then tell their children to go and do their schoolwork. But wait…is this something that the child sees the parent doing? Most of the time, probably not.
I began the same way with my own children, but as I’ve watched over the years, I’ve learned that my children learn best that which they see me or their dad doing and being passionate about. I’ve posted about this phenomenon in the past. Beware the Watchers was about how my daughter learned to sew largely by watching me. Teaching by Accident also tells of how I saw my children develop a love of music…again, I think from watching my own passion for music. All of these outcomes, by the way, were totally unplanned on my part. I didn’t realize at the time that I was teaching…or that I was teaching in an extremely powerful way.
A couple more examples:
My daughter had her friend over for a play date. I had left my art supplies and drawing pad out on the counter, and my daughter (ever my best cheerleader) sat with her friend and showed her all of my drawings. I left the room for a moment and when I came back, there they were sprawled on the floor with my daughter’s art set, drawing and painting. Coincidence? I think not.
The most dramatic example of one of my children learning by watching and following a role model is with my oldest son. He was a very late bloomer when it came to reading. At age eleven, he was still struggling with the smallest and shortest of books. At the time he kind of liked the Time Warp Trio books but really struggled with them. These books are very slim children’s books of usually less than 70 pages.
I did everything that I knew how to encourage his reading. We went to the library every week. Our home is filled with bookcases full of books on every level. He had examples in me and in his two older sisters of voracious reading. We read a lot, and we talked about what we read. We shared books and recommended books to each other. I read to the children regularly. We also had a daily scripture reading time where the children followed along in their scriptures as we listened to an audio being read. This son still struggled even to track the words and keep up with the reading.
I tried to be patient. I had done this before…this was not my first child who happened to be a late bloomer…but he was even later than his sister. I had also studied teaching reading as part of my college education. I knew better than to push. I knew that it was virtually impossible for a child to grow up in an environment as literate as our home and not be able to read…but I was beginning to get worried. I tried not to let it show.
And then something amazing happened. My husband heard about a book called Eragon by Christopher Paolini and became interested in it. This was a book that my daughter already owned and had read, so she loaned it to her dad. He read it. There were many exciting dinnertime conversations about this book over the course of the time that my husband read this book. When my husband was finished with the book, this son decided that he wanted to read that book. Now this book is probably about 4 grade levels above the books that he was already struggling with and about 500 pages long…I figuratively held my breath as he began. Over the next 3 weeks, my son carried that book everywhere he went until he had finished reading it. And then, he started right in on the second book of the series and finished it probably even more quickly than the first and couldn’t wait for the third book which was soon to be published. After that, he was hooked. He continued the habit he had developed reading Eragon and now took a book with him everywhere he went. He used to like to get the small paperback size books and carried them in the pockets of his cargo pants everywhere he went. Reading is now one of his favorite ways to spend his time. He is still never without a book.
I share this story because I think that it illustrates three things about learning. First, sometimes we just have to wait until the time is right. No amount of pushing or bribing is going to make learning happen. Second, example is prime when it comes to good teaching. Third, the role model matters greatly. As his mother, I set the example for reading for my son; so did his older sisters…two of them. But we weren’t the role models that mattered in this instance. The role model that mattered was his dad. And when all the conditions were right, my son learned to read without any struggle at all…it was as easy as the blooming of a flower. It seemed to happen as naturally as breathing for him.
In church one Sunday some time ago, someone gave a talk which really illustrated this whole concept for me. He spoke of the difference between a shepherd (our Savior, Jesus Christ, in this instance) and a sheep-herder. You see, a sheep herder goes behind the sheep pushing and prodding. A sheep herder is just doing a job…just getting the sheep from one place to another. He doesn’t necessarily care for the sheep or have a relationship with them.
A shepherd, on the other hand, knows each of his sheep intimately…as we do our pets or family members. He calls each by name. …and the shepherd doesn’t push or prod the sheep, he leads them. He shows the way…by example…and then he invites the sheep to follow…and they do because they know of his love for them and because they know where to go…the shepherd has shown the way. Of course learning is just like this. The Master Teacher has shown the way.
So the next principle that I would choose to emphasize to any home educator is to Lead Out. In his 7 Keys of Great Teaching, Oliver DeMille calls this principle “You, not them”. (I would call it “You along with them”…or maybe “You first and then them.) Either way, it’s a very powerful principle. Set the example for your children in all things that you want them to learn. And if you can’t set the example…and they don’t have interest of their own, then perhaps you need to do some deep thinking about why that is and change something…either your behavior, or your expectations.
Are you being a shepherd or a sheep herder for your children? Think about teachers you’ve had in your own life. Which have been shepherds? Which have been sheep herders? What has been the difference in your learning from each of these approaches?
So next time it comes to your children’s “schooling”, perhaps instead of saying go and do this or that, perhaps it would be more effective if you said let’s go and do this or that…or even better, don’t say anything at all…just begin yourself and then simply share your excitement and passion. 
P.S. After my husband read this post, he sent me this link. If fits. Enjoy.
Oh yeah! They are watching us and learning from us all of the time…whether we think we are teaching or not…
Posted in Home Education, Just life, Looking Back, Parenting, Uncategorized, What's Mom studying? | Tagged Books, Children, Education, Family Life, Homeschool, Learning, Parenting, Read aloud, Reading, Shepherds, Unschooling | 3 Comments »
